A divorce mediation is should be utilized when couples run into the following circumstance:
"There has been a breakdown of the marriage relationship to the extent that the object of matrimony has been destroyed and there remains no reasonable likelihood that the marriage can be preserved."
Mediation allows the divorcing couple to create their own divorce agreement and can produce the following results:
1) Mediation reduces the adverse effects of divorce on the children (a dissolution of the marriage and a reorganization of the family).
2) Mediation provides for a fair division of assets.
3) Mediation provides a neutral environment in which divorcing couples can discuss options and vent feelings openly.
4) Mediation is less expensive.
5) Mediation assists individuals in making the transition from being a married person to being a single person.
6) Mediated divorce agreements are more likely to be adhered to than litigated or stipulated divorce agreements.
7) The divorcing couple has a better understanding of the terms contained in the divorce agreement.
8) Mediation encourages post-divorce cooperation.
9) Mediation is available for post-divorce disputes.
Do you have a mediation question?
Nichols & Eberth's Michigan Mediation Centers - Meeting the Needs
The Dearborn, Northville, Trenton (all downriver) and Troy divorce family mediation service exists to meet the unique needs of couples and families who are in the process of separation or divorce. Its primary purposes are the following:
1) Minimize the negative effects of the separation and divorce experience upon the couple and their children.
2) Reduce the conflict that is frequently a part of separation and divorce.
3) Assist each spouse to negotiate a fair and equitable settlement of property, custody, and support issues.
4) Promote post-divorce cooperation.
The Dearborn, Northville, Trenton (all downriver) and Troy Michigan Mediation Centers are staffed by a multi-disciplinary team of legal and mental health professionals who are experienced in family law and family therapy, and specially trained in mediation. In addition, the Centers have established linkages with area attorneys, tax consultants, financial planners, and pension valuation specialists whose expertise may be called upon as needed. They support the mediation process while ensuring that each party's interests are protected.
Seizing the Opportunity
Mediation provides the opportunity for a husband and wife to work out the terms of their own separation or divorce agreement in a safe environment with the assistance of a trained neutral third person. This neutral third party does not render a decision, but helps the parties consider and/or develop alternatives to disputes regarding custody, visitation, shared parenting, support, and the equitable division of property.
The Mediation Process
- Supports non-adversarial approaches to the resolution of issues
- Assists both parties to understand all of the issues
- Works out creative solutions geared to the needs of the parties involved
- Leaves control over resolutions with the parties rather than with attorneys, judges, or court personnel
Reducing the Conflict
Mediation is often helpful in working past the anger, conflict and loss associated with separation and divorce. This process also can become the setting in which a sound foundation for the future may be established. This results in minimizing the disruption in the lives of all family members. Experience has shown that settlements reached through mediation are more likely to be accepted and honored by both parties than those reached through the traditional adversarial process. Such agreements are also likely to be worked out more quickly and at less expense.
DIVORCE LAWYER IN TRENTON
Mediation is a voluntary, problem-solving process, available to assist divorcing couples and eroding civil partnerships work out a mutual agreement on the issues which must usually be resolved in any divorce such as parenting, support, and division of property.
Mediation is for couples who have made a decision to divorce or who are unsure whether to divorce, but want a separation. It is also for couples who are already divorced but who have a post-decree dispute.
Mediation is not only for couples who agree. It is a process designed to help any couple regardless of existing differences.
Mediation works like this: With the assistance of a trained neutral third party (a mediator), the couple works to identify, negotiate, and resolve in a fair way the issues raised by the decision to divorce. When those issues have been resolved, the mediator will draft a memorandum of agreement. This is reviewed by the couple and given to their attorneys for legal implementation. An attorney will then draw up a formal settlement agreement. The divorce may then go through the courts as an uncontested matter.
Mediation varies in length depending on the agenda, the complexity of the issues involved and the readiness of the couple to resolve these issues. However, the average mediation usually takes about five two-hour sessions.
Each client is urged to seek legal representation throughout the mediation process. While the decisions reached in mediation are made by the divorcing individuals, we believe that each person should have available to them an attorney with whom they can confer should they so feel the need.
The results of a comprehensive study of divorce mediation were published in an article entitled "Divorce Mediation" which was authored by Pearson and Thoennes and which appeared in the 1982 issue of FAMILY ADVOCATE. Two of their findings were as follows:
"The research indicates that mediation is the more desirable way for couples to resolve contested child custody disputes. They also report much satisfaction with the process...Successful mediation clients are less likely to report problems with their court orders and are more likely to report that their spouses are in total compliance. The benefits of mediation clearly outweigh the costs."
"Mediated agreements were viewed more favorable than stipulations arrived at through the adversarial system...Apparently, the method by which an agreement was reached was critical. The mediation process generated a sense of equality not felt elsewhere."
An article on divorce mediation appeared in the October, 1989 issue of NEW WOMAN. The author, professional mediator Diane Neumann of Boston, Massachusetts, found that the mediation process provided the following advantages:
"Mediation allows each party to hear and respond to the other side of an issue."
"Mediation promotes the best interests of the children."
"Mediation saves time and money."
"Mediation avoids the public display of private issues."
Nichols & Eberth, Law Offices honed their extensive mediation experience and forged the Michigan Mediation Centers, Inc. for divorce, civil partnerships and family mediation services in Trenton, Dearborn, Northville and Troy. Bringing their combined proven skills, the Michigan Mediation Centers has become one of the most valued mediation services with an outstanding success rate in Southeast Michigan, saving clients time, money and reducing ongoing settlement conflicts.
Nichols & Eberth Law Offices has a unique set of accolades that set apart other divorce and family mediation services:
On the other hand, true love or deep and lasting love is a love that is based upon a rational choice. It starts by one person saying to himself or herself that "I choose to love this person". Until and unless both people in a relationship make that reasoned choice, the relationship cannot last. That is because lasting love, true love, is not a feeling. If your love is based on a feeling or feelings, then like all feelings, that love will diminish with time. No one, no matter how hard they try, can keep the feelings associated with falling in love perpetually alive. Again, as stated above, people who "fall in love" will always fall out of love.
So, if love is not a feeling, then what is it and how do I get it?
If both persons in a relationship decide and choose to love each other, then a real basis for a deep and strong love can be developed. This does not mean that couples who rationally choose to love each other will not have problems with their relationship. What it does mean is that their love will carry them through the problems. However, feelings of love will not.
Once you have made a rational choice to love someone, then you must implement that decision. This takes two things, both of which are difficult. The two things are work and courage. Love is always work or courage. If an act is not one of work or courage, then it is not an act of love. There are no exceptions.
You must work to determine the true needs of your partner and you must work to try to meet them. Perhaps the act, which is the best example of love, is giving your spouse your unpreoccupied time. True listening, total concentration on what your spouse is saying, is always an act of love.
You also need courage to love someone. You need courage in order to trust your spouse. You need courage to give your spouse freedom. You also need courage to let resentments go by or to forget the resentments of the past. The reason you need courage to forget resentments of the past is because once you do, you leave yourself open to the potential that your partner may not appreciate your efforts and may actually take advantage of you. And you need courage to maintain your commitment to continue to work at loving your spouse even though there are set backs.
In addition to all this, you must always keep in mind that true happiness comes from within and that no one else can make you happy. If you expect your spouse to make you happy, your spouse will fail and you will only be disappointed and resentful in him or her.
You may be able to sense that although these concepts may sound simple, they are not, especially when they are applied together. Unless you adopt these concepts so that they become a permanent part of your attitude, then you will never be able to truly love someone else.
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